nick reiber

Well, it's been 38 weeks since I wrote in this. School is the same. Love life fucked as usual. Got a girl but nothing serious. It's one of those confusing neither of us will make the first move for commitment type things. Oh well, she'll probably just end up breaking my heart. And theres some problems with the fam so i may be staying in houghton for christmas break.

all in all, my life sucks.

Well, Cora and I broke up some time ago. Had sex with her best friend and what not over spring break. Have to be that guy ya know... But she definitely cheated on me with Nigger Thomas, the Italian who thinks he's black, so am I really that bad compared to her? I didn't think so.

School is actually alright, 2 a's and 3 ab's so far. Should be raising my gpa above my current 3.35 or what not this semester. And I really need to stop fighting when I get drunk. I woke up this morning with bloody knuckles and puke all over in my bathroom. Guess I whooped one of my fraternity brothers.... I'm a total jackass.

To end this, why the fuck can't I find a decent girl. Am I really that bad? I just need someone who can feel.. and think. I never thought finding someone who has qualities from the human species would be so hard.



AND THE NEW NIN CD IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING RAD.

So, not much going on in the life of the Reibness. Just kinda moping through life, this long distance relationship isn't much fun. And little girls who try to complicate things don't help at all. But I still go with this shit because I'm that into her.

School is going good so far, revisions and my humanities class are swamping me pretty bad with research papers and presentations but oh well. Cryptography is a very fun class, as is physics. Business problem solving.... whatever. I just wrote this persuasive research article and I must say, there is no need to revise, perfect.

I'm 21 now, Cora and Alexis came to visit for my birthday and I hope I showed them a good time, but I missed free drinks from the alumni who were up for carnival. If I can just make it through this semester alive I'll be fine.

So don't break my heart.


I'll do what I can do.

You say that I treat you like a book on a shelf
I don't take you out that often 'cause I know that I completed you and that's why you are here
That's the reason you stay here
How awful that must feel
You said you could be my dream I could have you every night
And if by morning, I'd forgotten you, well no big deal, that'd be alright
'Cause you're the reoccurring kind
You are the reoccurring kind
You never really leave my mind
Are you the love of my lifetime?
Cause there have been times I've had my doubts
We were just kids when I first kissed you in the attic of my parents house, and I wish we were there now
It took so long to figure out
What this book has been about

Now I write when I'm away, letters that you'll never read
You said go explore those other women, the geography of their bodies, but there's just one map you'll need
You're a boomerang you'll see
You will return to me

You will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.
You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You, you will.
'Cause if you don't, then this book is all lies
If you don't, then my plans would all be ruined
If you don't, I'll start drinking like the way I drank before
Oh, and I, I just won't have a future anymore.

Life is going pretty good I am happy to say. Haven't posted to this shit for a long time and felt I should for all -5 people who read this. New pledge class Beta Delta just went through, some rad guys and what not. We have to present in front of the interfraternity council soon to be "school-recognized" again because right now we're only a student organization and not a fraternity because of some paperwork/grades/numbers/risk management/us being dumbasses.

Got me a new girly, which is so far so good.

One more week of classes after this one and I have finals week. I have three finals on Monday and two on Tuesday I believe, which is going to kill my weekend before finals week. But oh well, I'll be able to get out of this town sooner. We've got so much god damn snow it's ridonkulous. Yeah, new word bitches.

I don't know, comment so I know I'm not the creepy college guy who still writes in a livejournal lol.


She was a sour girl the day that she met me
Hey, what are you looking at?
She was a happy girl the day that she left me

What would you do?
What would you do if I followed you?

Well, life is going like shit. I don't really know what I'm doing anymore. I have some problems, mentally and what not, that are becoming so obvious... it's scary.

I have become ridiculously addicted to folky/accoustic music too. I have a weak heart or something because all of it makes me cry. And I often wake up in the middle of the night crying too. If my roommate can hear me, he must think I'm fucking cracking up lol.

I'm so lost and confused lately with my life. School is a joke, it all is. There's no fucking challenge at all. Trying not to go insane is the real challenge. I think I need to stop reading Steinbeck lol.

Yeah... have a good psychologists phone number?

Look up to see the weakness
In the sky
Nobody's eyes are bright and starry
Nobody wants to know your reason why
Hold your hands out towards the water
In front of me to know I'm with you
Don't put it all into your hero

Not much to say really. Same shit, different day. I guess i'm just wandering through my existence. School is going alright, not too good, not too bad. The usual I guess. Exam tomorrow in Linear Algebra. Should be cake though. Kind of feeling like a little bit of a man-whore after this last weekend, but oh well. Still have to find a job, this poor college student thing is getting pretty annoying. I feel like a bum because I haven't worked for so long.

Haven't been to marquette for a while. Missed Converse's 21st. Feeling kind of bad about that.

And of course I haven't talked to her for a while.

Like god's fire.
For you but you could never say
Then come forth 'cause it's coming round

New Deftone's CD is pretty bad ass.

I think I may have my life figured out finally. But I will not be giving away the plan. Just in case it fails, then no one will know. We have a sweet 80's party tonight, and I didn't even find a cool outfit. I'm so disappointed of myself. I need that go-getter attitude. Then I'd be cool, and popular, and girls would want me. hahahaha. I crack myself up.

But seriously, I need a significant other. I'm be gettsin' lonely up here in this cold, cold part of the world.

And I'm just in a bad mood lately. I'm still mad.




make sure that no one is with you
if you wish to see them alive again

WOW. wow, i don't know how to explain what happened tonight. O'boyle and Sully gave me and Martin a ride to negaunee. Cody and some Amy girl picked us up from there. I got a dirty thirty. got a buzz going, and Sam came with her boyfriend. I had gotten some dank bud from a buddy at tech to give to her. she takes off to smoke it for like an hour. she barely acknowledges me for a while. i'm like fuck this, leave to go get a ride with shawn and april. just take my car extremely drunk. exactly the same position writing this shit. i just don't like being ignored i think. ahahhahaha. fuck you too.

School is going pretty good. I imagine I'm going to stick with this major and just get a minor in mathematical sciences. If i can afford it, possibly a dual major. SKUM is always rocking the tech campus to the fullest extent and i am possibly coming home this weekend. Three of my fraternity brothers are going to MQT this weekend and I may hitch a ride or get a ride from my brother. I really am missing a lot of people. 'Specially that girl I like.



make up your mind
decide to walk with me
around the lake tonight
around the lake tonight, by my side

i'm not gonna lie
i'll not be a gentleman
behind the boathouse
i'll show you my dark secret

i'm not gonna lie
i want you for mine
my blushing bride
my lover
be my lover yeah
don't be afraid
i didn't mean to scare you
so help me jesus

Shit, I'm back at Michigan Tech wasting my life away and drinking more than any alcoholic does. I feel like complete shit already. I swear to "god" I've been hearing voices and cell phones ringing the past few weeks. I may be going insane/dying. I will if I don't hear from Sam soon though. I miss her a lot and I don't really understand why.... I mean, she is wonderful, great, probably the best girl I'll ever meet; but I can't explain it. I know I shouldn't be in "love" with her but I am and it hurts. BAD.


YES IT DID.

I'm going to go through this fall semester at tech and try to get the best grades possible. I'm going to finally get the courage to change my major. I'm either going biology or mathematical sciences. I need to talk to a damn career counselor. What's a good job lol?
In other news, I think there is a semi-chance with this Sam girl, not the old one, but I seem to make such a fucking ass of myself when I am drunk. But I really dig her, I may have told her I loved her when I was drunk lol. And I just might to be completely honest.
My life is getting really old. And my speed addiction reared its ulgy head again and I got crazy for a while. It just feels really shitty to be me at the moment.


I just need somebody, someone. Can't somebody help me?
All I need is to be loved just for me.



HORSE the band is the best metal band ever. And I'll kill you if you say otherwise. They're probably the only thing that has kept me sane over the past few weeks. ANGER!!!!

How do you even get drunk off margaritas? I got gut rot before i could even get a buzz. And these bastards were strong.

And why do I always feel the need to be high on something?

And why can't I understand women? Yeah, I fell in love with a girl before I went to Florida, but now it feels akward when I'm with her and she shows less interest. Is it one of those push -pull, give-take things? I should show more interest?

And would I just be better off dead?

And is it bad if I think that Q Lazzarus' Goodbye Horses is a good song?




EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US, THE DEVIL INSIDE.

I just returned from an okay road trip/vacation with my youngest brother. Went to Florida and visited our grandparents. Saw some tourist attractions, Universal, etc... Stopped in Pennsylvania on the way back home and visited my Dad, my half-brother and some others on that side of the family.

And now I've been drinking a lot. It feels good to be back home, but god damn these alcoholic friends of mine.

School starts back up in two weeks but I have to get back up to Houghton for orientation week and party it up.

Not much to say my friend. Been contemplating everything more than necessary, being a sad soul, etc... The usual I guess. But there is this girl.. I just might have a really good chance at a half-way decent relationship.. and last night was "beautiful". Just the simplest things can be all you need, like sleeping with your arm around the girl you fancy. Or her putting her arm over your chest while you sleep on your back and she's snuggling into your neck. Wow do I miss these feelings. I feel all giddy lol.

Probation appointment tomorrow at 8:45 in the fucking morning. Cross your fingers and hope I don't get a drug test because, well, I'd fail a six-cup for everything haha. You know you have a problem when that is possible. I think I need new friends. One's whose lives don't revolve around getting high, or at least not all the time. Anyone interested in hanging out lol?


And I also found some wicked B-Sides and Unreleased tracks from Elliot Smith. All I can say is wow. Seriously.

what fun times i have been having lately. saturday night, i get pulled over in forestville with cody, shawn and paul quayle. i only get an mip. very lucky i know. sunday night, drank with cody. monday night was probably the best though. the plan was to eventually end up at fulschers camp but converse, cody and i end up drinking with robert lemay and artibee and some other people at silver creek. cody freaks out and breaks a mcmasters bottle on a tree and it shatters all over jess's legs and cuts her up real bad. then converse and lemay go to get some more beer with some girl and cody runs out in the street waving his hands and the girl doesn't stop and "smucks" cody. it was fucking hilarious. shawn stold my cellular tellular and freaks on his dad, smashes his truck window, breaks some pictures and puts a huge hole in a wall. i have to go walking with a sheriff down to the lake at 3 in the morning piss drunk to look for him. gay stuff. today we spend the day drinking and doing some shit to my house.

well, been on a nice binge of tweekers and pk's with cody and phil. went with cody at around midnight to phil robs because dougy fitz said it was a wicked party. get a beer or two down the hatch and zambon and about four other people circle cody and i. zambon asks if i've been talking shit and a bunch of other bullshit. i mean, even if i had, would i tell you when you're going to just jump me redneck style like a bitch? and no, i did not "call him out". i barely know the fucking kid. i pulled some pussy shit just to get out, but hey, did i really feel like getting steel-toed? fuck no. and i am drunk. maybe i should have just let them stomp me? at least then i'd know for sure they pull some lame shit.


and alexis. i saw you there and you didn't even say hello. lame.

Life of course is the same. So depressing. Lets see, I've been drinking and stuff? I am getting so sick of it. When school resumes I'm going to fucking kick ass and quit this adolescent shit. I mean... there has to be more to life than this, right?

And as for the emotional part of my life, well, it's a fucking wreck. I don't know what is going on but sometimes I can randomly find myself crying and I truly have no fucking idea why. I've never felt so bad in my life. There is no possible way life can be this horrible.

well, you are, yes you are so much like me
so learn to sing along and languish here
help me languish here

they say done is good
but done well is so much fucking better

Stephen Malkmus is jesus and will eat your babies. Notice how the "j" isn't capitalized? I'm going to hell.

Well, morphine is a nice drug. been on a lil' bit of a binge lately. not cool. at least i don't pay for it. so, i'm officially in the process of changing my major to mathematical sciences, which will probably be useless and i'll be forced to be a teacher. oh well, at least i'll enjoy it.
other news in my life, i found a sweet, cute girl to be infatuated with. she has a boyfriend though. any of you girls who read this shit i post, got any tips for me on how to "woo" her lol.


when was the last time you've looked in the mirror?
'cause you've changed, yeah you've changed.

wow, i wouldn't believe it if i have liver disease. i've been pretty much drinking from saturday at around 6 to last night at around 10. with converse and cody at sam curry's house. that's one great family. but i got a hella sunburn on my face shoveling clay and hauling it with sam. as usual, ryan just sat at a picnic table drinking beer. but sam did have a great graduation party. saw luke niemela, who i haven't seen in oh about, 4 years? maybe five? and zambon was there, being a d bag to the older folks lol.

and i only smoked one cigarette yesterday.




lying all alone and restless
unable to lose this image
sleepless, unable to focus on
anything but your surrender